So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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