his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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