We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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