ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
