I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
