u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
