mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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