found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize