I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
