You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
