I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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