Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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