I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
