OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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