It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
