She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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