So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
