you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
