Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize