loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
