dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
