I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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