He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
