I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just had sex bonerless
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
