Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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