I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
