he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
