My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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