I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
