Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
