The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
