Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
