I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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