Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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