is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
