This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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