yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
