Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.