real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind