My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him