like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
