That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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