i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
