I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
