Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
