Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
