I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
