I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
