the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
