I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
