he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
