my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
