how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
