speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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