I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
