im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is classic penis vs brain.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
