He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
