Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
