Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize