We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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