Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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