Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
