2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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