dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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