I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
