I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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