We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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