My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
