i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Help. Why am I so naked?
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