I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
